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Hi, it's me. I'm the accident, it's me...😂

If you played a pregnancy in reverse it would be a horror movie about a monster that eats babies

Some numbers that look like prime number is actually divisible 😢

*sneezes* "papa?" OH GOD DAMMIT

This conversation can only take place between a biological female and a biological male. Bc that's how it's SUPPOSED to be

I'm 40 years old and he totally explained that to me in a way that makes sense

I'm diabetic and to this day if i eat anything with carbs at all my mom tells me i shouldn't be having that. I can't get her to understand that i have to. She will not understand.

Sometimes they redirect the water like they do when they build bridges footers. They will build the tunnel fill it in then slowly put the river back.

❤

You need a license to drive a car but not to create sentient life

i dont know what it is but that last line killed me 😂

I feel like for most people, they dont intially think of it as making a person. They imagine a baby in a crib, in tiny clothes, crawling. They never consider that their horribly named baby "braxlynn" will one day be a construction worker or an office clerk and have to respond to that name in a professional setting. Or that their baby becomes a fully autonomous person who may be influenced by their parents but is not a literal carbon copy of them and their viewpoints or interests. Children become adults... it seems obvious but with names like "braxleigh" and "khaleesi" and the rise of ipad kids... its clearly not so obvious to a lot of people

WOMEN AND MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊

"would you want to build a human?" -frozen in an alternate universe

I have this idea we are all like sentient leaves, or like, the toe of DNA's centipede-like 4th detentions existance or something

I’m just thinking about the ginger kid from Jimmy Neutron when I hear his voice-

Is it just your body reverting to the blueprint that initially populated hair there?

Mine was puprle- (Please stop calling me a guy I'm a girl)

I've seen Rogan's feet. They are amazing. 20 toes, 8 joints each. He often just hangs from his ceiling.

Space. Everything about outer space is normal but is so weird that it shouldnt be real. Tectonic plates. Theyre weird. Humans in general. We are weird. Everything about humans are absurd.

Wait... What about when it refuses to copy content that the host program doesn't even care about and it pastes the previous copy as though i did nothing?

I was gonna go with like... picking your nose... but, ok..

So, in other words, the basis of humanity is unacceptable?

Acting like you're the victim while you steal indigenous land and massacre the indigenous people.

War

THANK YOU!!! I've been saying something along these lines for years!

This is what having kids sounds like to gays.

Oh shit, I was gonna say picking your nose 😂 But this is WAY more significant.

Evolution is cracked dude. Look at breeding in less successful and more successful animals. This is just another thing we as a species have it really good in.

There are acceptable limits of rat, bug, and human meat in food.

RIGHT THERE SHOULD BE LIKE AN APPLICATION PROCESS OR SOMETHING

RIGHT THERE SHOULD BE LIKE AN APPLICATION PROCESS OR SOMETHING

Why is "seeing someone you like recorded doing a silly dance" such a powerful motivator XD I hear that and- INSTANT spark of interest and motivation XD You guys know what you're doing

I don’t know where you live but McDonald’s is a heckuva lot cheaper here in Indiana.

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A few cells will implant themcell Not what he said, but I can't stop choosing to hear it.

This is only strange to you because you believe children should be killed for the sake of convenience.

So what I got from this is if we remove the screws we can finally achieve MACROWAVE

HANK!!! I watched the trivia stream earlier today and am only catching up on this video. 7:10 THIS is where you'd seen "Finvaara" before!!!

So my girlfriend says my peanuts is now a worm

I have to imagine you have incredible parents. I love this. I love this message. I love that children watch you and hear you saying, "You are not dumb if you don't know things!" Thank you for being you.

The fact that urinals don't have walls between them

Most of the geographical area of Nevada is a whole lot of nothing population wise 3:21

Great, now I want soup 😆😆

Change the o to a y and you get a word for another long and skinny animal, the dragon

The staff meeting 😂😂😂

What you are looking for Pastel 😊

We did a thing in HS. Pop can filled with 100g water at whatever degrees. Lit a cheeto and held it under the can. Then calculated how many Kcal it produces by the temp the water became. Was totally awesome.

Well, they do have protocols, but they are not mandatory unless you have a mental instability yourself or got in trouble with CPS idk how many other scenarios there are, but yea not mandatory if you get pregnant. They give you very basic papers on important things and have you watch a video before you take baby home and say yea they look like they can handle this! Btw way both parents are not needed for this if both parents are involved, just one. Crazy.

This was all fantastic. But then the soup happened. Why was that so funny? Over here cackling so hard I couldn't hear anything he said.